December 8, 2008

December 8, 2008

Dear Jesus,


People are in the hustle and bustle of the season in which we celebrate Your birth. For me this year feels different in so many way. I have not felt the need to hustle nor the need to bustle. I have been relaxing with and not worrying at all on what to get for the family. I am hoping that this year will be more about You and less about gifts.
But let me tell you about a project I have been given. It is for the Mostly Literate Clan (MLC). It is a writing project and it is a gift from one of the Clan members. I am enjoying writing this theme. I am going to be working on it tonight, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. It is something that I hope will honor You. I won't reveal it to You hear because I share these letters with the MLC and I want to have this project as a surprise. Though I think I miss judged how much I actually have completed.
As with any letter I may jump to different subjects from time to time. I hope You don't mind. I know that people expect to have letters follow some theme but for me I am a very random person when I write letters. Meaning that I can jump from subject to subject in a manner of minutes.
So today at work, I got frustrated when the new updates caused the system to slow down today. I felt that I could not get much accomplished today because of that much today. But I know that I did what I could. But I was also pissy. Then I was worried about my one co-worker who went to the doctors and came back in tears. I have not found out what was wrong but I will be keeping her in my prayers.

Well I will leave You tonight so that I can do some work on my project.

With love.
RoseAnn (aka Mack)

November 29, 2008

November 29, 2008

Dear Jesus,

It is two days after Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for this year. But the one person I have neglected is you. I truly did not want to neglect you. But it happened. So, I have decided to write letters to you every once in a while (or once a month) to keep in touch with you.

Since the other day was Thanksgiving, I want this letter to express my thanks to you for all you have done for me. But where should I start. Let me see ...

Thank you for giving your life for not only me but for the entire world. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering you experienced at the hands of man. Yes, even my had even though I was not born as of yet.
Thank you for giving those of us who accept you the free gift of salvation. You gave us something we did not deserve for we are all sinners. Yet by grace you died for all mankind.
Thank you for life eternal. With your resurrection you gave us eternal life. Life that will be with you in heaven one day.
Thank you for knowing me before I was even born. You knew all the good days, bad days and dark days that were going to be in my life. For this I am forever grateful.
Thank you for saving me. Not only spiritually but also physically. If not for you, I would have died with out knowing you or those who are in my life right now.
Thank you for being by my side even when I do not know it.
Thank you for the medication I am on for my depression. It does not plague me quite so bad as it use to. Not saying that it is gone completely. I still need to rely on you for the niggling darkness that is still there.
Thank you for my many friends. Both real and in cyberspace.
Thank you for my dog Maya. She has truly brightened my life. She is my own little gospel come to life. I watch her and wonder how much I should be like her towards you.
Thank you for understanding my faults and failures. You never condemn but you do want these to change.
Thank you that I have once again found a passion to write. I want to thank you for introducing me to the people of Mostly Literate Clan and Legend of Satura. They have challenged me on different levels.

Lord Jesus, I want to thank you for my family. As strange as that is for me, I do thank you. They keep me down to earth even when all I want is to be in heaven.
Thank you for my family in you. With brothers and sisters that can guide, uplift and admonish gently, I am able to look towards you.

Lord, I know that I have not been in your word for a little over a year. I truly would love to be there but have not the strength to wake up in the mornings to read your living word. I pray that you will grant me that strength even when I stay up late at night.

Lord I confess that I have sinned against you in the past year. And in that sin I would make excuses for doing what I had done. Lord, I have confessed this sin to my sister in you. I don't think I can write it down at this moment. I am very embarrassed that I got caught up in this sin yet again. It is very hard for me to speak of let alone put done on "paper". I still have to take care of some of the items I have in my possession to be doing your will.

I know for those who may read this will think that I have no will of my own. But it was my decision to accept your free gift. It was also my will to turn my back on you for a season. Then when that season was over, I desperately sought you out once again. It would take two years before you gave me an answer. But in those two year, I learned how much I had lost when I turned from you. In that day, I felt the same peace you had given the first time I accepted your gift. And now I walk in your way of my own free will. I am not weak for this decision. I am very strong. I even made it through a time when suicide was once again plaguing my mind. I even made it though a brother in Christ's death. A death that never had to happen but he just choose the wrong path. It was the first time I experienced loosing a loved one by suicide. Of course it was an eye opener. It was the main reason that I started to take an anti-depressant.

Well Lord it is getting to be after 3:00 AM. I should really get to sleep. Poor Maya has fallen asleep next to me.

I bid you a fine good morning.

Yours in all I do.

RoseAnn (aka Mack)

This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24